Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize