so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Everclear isn't food dammit
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
