You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
