im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize