when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
