There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
