My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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