the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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