i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize