Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
