The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
