And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
