if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
