I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
