just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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