imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
