I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
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just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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