I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
