HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
