I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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