haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
