I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i came on her dog
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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