guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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