I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
