She's JV to your varsity
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
