Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
