You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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