butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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