I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
