If that was your dad, he is hot
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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