apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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