So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
