Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
