I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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