Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
