Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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