They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
