four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
