Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize