I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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