nut hugger
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
