If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
