We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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