4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize