So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
