i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
