I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
