What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
