I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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