Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
