he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
