you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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