party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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