i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
