covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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