I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
