So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
