just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
