I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
