Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize