Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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