The best revenge is premature balding
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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