he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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