I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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